if you are going to be part of a writing workshop you might…

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Part of my degree was based on giving/ receiving crit. However, it helps if I understand the crit. My background isn't in writing (no classes and I prefer non-fiction to read but recently embraced attempting to write fiction), sometimes I really don't understand.

One comment was that an edit contained pretense. I don't understand that and asked for explication but didn't get it (other things made sense, though). Since I know the piece (not part of fiction but an attempt at writing an anecdote) is my recollection, there's no "pretense." There's attitude that I tried to inject into the edit.

The RD was basically actions. When I went back, I filled in the "feeling" or why it came about. And I'm okay if that didn't work I still don't understand their actual crit. I decided it did not work for her because it was too negative. ::shrugs:: I'd rather not have to guess what a person means.

It sounds like your group gave solid crit. I'm saying if the person didn't understand, that's one thing but to state she had no intention is just weird. It sounds like she wants to claim being in a group rather than actually taking part in a group.
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Excellent post and, coincidentally, it happened to appear the same day I received two very different critiques. One, from a person who edits an online literary magazine and one from someone in a workshop I joined. Both were largely subjective. Both had problems with my style. The editor didn't care for my short paragraphs and choppy, minimalist sentences. Okay, fair enough. I saw her point and re-wrote it so that it flowed in a more conventional manner. She loved the changes and accepted the story. Wonderful. Thanks were in order.

The person from the workshop gave self-contradictory advice, missed the point of the piece entirely and really offered me nothing more than a bunch of lazy, vague, subjective rubbish. So I gave them a hard time about it. If I feel the criticism I'm being handed is invalid, I reserve the right defend my choices. I'll tell them why I think they're wrong and try to demonstrate why I think something works.

Seeing your work through other's eyes can be invaluable, as you indicated, and people in my workshop have pointed out some very embarrassing flaws in my writing. To them I owe my gratitude. But critique the critics. Think about what they've said, don't take things too personally, but fight for your vision. Sometimes you have to.
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It's the same in all artistic ventures, I think. In order to learn and grow you need to check your ego at the door. By listening to criticism (both constructive and otherwise) with an open mind it can help you see your work with fresh eyes. Even the bitchiest attack can contain a grain of truth. I'll sometimes explain why I made a certain decision, but I never argue it. I just thank the person for their feedback, assess it for what it's worth and then decide whether to incorporate it into my work or discard it.

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